You dated Melina.

I did.

Then you can, perhaps, answer a question for me.

Duuude.
(continue reading…)

I had a strange moment at work today.

Yeah?

I realized I have a stapler.

This is strange?

(continue reading…)

…right, you let me know. I’m with someone now, call me back later.

Who was that?

Guy trying to get some freelance work from me.

You taking it?

(continue reading…)

Which is why I think that Jell-O should come in jalapeno flavor.

It’s horrible but true. All right, get on that.

I have no ability to demand things of the Jell-O people.

The Jell-O people, isn’t that a crappy made-for-TV movie?

(continue reading…)

So where’d she come from?

Who?

The… she…

Victoria? You want to discuss her while she is in the bathroom? Really?

(continue reading…)

I had an idea.

What kind of idea?

The kind of idea that will work.

Oh, those are the best kind to have.

(continue reading…)

I was thinking about getting a tattoo.

Of what?

The Autobot symbol.

The Transformers… like the… those autobots?

(continue reading…)

Whoever invented the Cheerio was a genius.

Cheerios really are a work of art, aren’t they?

Does anyone not like Cheerios?

Why aren’t there world religions devoted to this stuff?

(continue reading…)