This meal just made me uncomfortable.

Did I forget to wear pants?

No… do you often forget to wear pants when you go out?

Not at all, but I thought it could account for the issue.

(continue reading…)

This man, today, at work, he spoke to me in Klingon.

Klingon? Really?

Yes, as if I should either understand or be impressed.

I’m gonna assume you were neither?
(continue reading…)

So what’d Sven get you for Christmas?

Mark! Dearling that isn’t something you just ask.

It isn’t?

No! What if it’s highly personal?
(continue reading…)

Holiday parties suck.

All the people?

No, I like people. It’s the potluck. Potluck’s are evil.

Oh, there I’ll agree with you.
(continue reading…)

We should move in together.

Should we? Really?

Wow, all right, maybe we shouldn’t?

I didn’t mean it like that!
(continue reading…)

Well, but yeah, I mean I like shaving, but there are times…

You wish you still had…

Southern growth? Yes.

You could go for a merkin.
(continue reading…)

I was looking at a computer manual the other day.

Getting a new laptop?

No, but I thought for a second, I just tripped over Gb.

Tripped over it? Like, what it meant?
(continue reading…)

So, dearling, get this, Rachael thinks I’m a spy.

A spy? Like working for the Russians?

I don’t know who I am supposed to be working for, but yes, a spy.
(continue reading…)