Here you go.

Chicken soup?

It’ll help you feel better.

Don’t come to close, I think I have the black death.
(continue reading…)

I don’t believe it!

What?

Black Friday isn’t enough for people anymore!

It’s enough for me. More than.
(continue reading…)

Well, but yeah, I mean I like shaving, but there are times…

You wish you still had…

Southern growth? Yes.

You could go for a merkin.
(continue reading…)

Ever notice that Swiss and American wont he cheese wars?

I missed cheese wars? That’s kind of sad.

I guess you did, then.

I don’t even remember cheese peace talks falling apart.
(continue reading…)

So the circus was cool.

You went to the circus?

Yeah, last night, I thought I mentioned.

Uhm, no. Also, what circus is even in town?
(continue reading…)

This is some kick ass peanut butter.

It’s like the guy who made it made it like a boss!

Like a Peanut Boss!

A new hero, for a new age.
(continue reading…)

I was wondering how many problems I actually have.

Don’t we all just assume we have ninety-nine, now?

Right, that’s where I started, but then I had to think about it.

You tried to actually count?
(continue reading…)

This new album is great.

Wassa album? Like you got it on vinyl?

Don’t make me feel old!

Sorry. So what’s good about it?
(continue reading…)