Episode 330 – Raptors

Episode 330 – Raptors

Apr 05

Oh no.

What!

I just realized how the velociraptors will take over the earth.

Uhm… Mark?

What?

Velociraptors are extinct.

For now! You’ve seen Jurassic Park!

Yes but that was fiction.

Still. It’s a horrible fate nature has planned for us.

Fine, tell me.

Well what’s the thing stopping velociraptors now?

Extinction?

No, no no. Seriously.

Uhm. I don’t think I’ll be taking this seriously.

Try. For me.

Fine. Their pea-sized brains?

Ahhhh, but no. They’re clever, remember.

Hmmm, their tiny widdle arms?

Yes the arms!

That makes you happy?

Well, it used to. That was how we could always defeat them. Sure their arms were long enough, they could use doors, say, but still, they didn’t have great reach.

Better than a T-Rex, though.

Well, sure. But T-Rexs can use this plan too. That’s the problem.

And this plan is what exactly?

Grabby sticks.

Excuse me?

You know those things in stores that they use to grab you items from the top shelves?

The… poles with the trigger and little clutches?

Yeah.

What are those called, anyway?

No idea. Grabby sticks.

Fine. Grabby sticks.

If raptors and T-Rex learn to use grabby sticks we’re all done for.

Huh.

We need to ban grabby sticks now, before it’s too late!

Uhm.

Now!

Yeeeeeah. You go ahead and start explaining to store owners. I’ll catch up. With you.

You will?

I will! I will catch up with you, by visiting you in the looney bin when they toss you there.

I feel like Sarah Conner. I know how the world will end and no one will believe me.

At least if you felt like Jor-El you’d be compelled to build a sweet ass rocket and shove me in there and fire me off to a planet where I’d gain super powers.

Sorry. Sarah Conner.

Damn.