Bananas!

Uhm?

Raisin muffins!

Sure?

Fuji apples!

Wait a second…

Smoked turkey!

Are you shouting my shopping list?

Maybe.

And why do you have my shopping list?

It was on your fridge.

So?

I dunno. Do you really need to buy ‘Nilla Wafers?

I like them.

So specific. Only brand name bland cookies for you, my friend.

So you took my shopping list, off my fridge, just to mock me.

Uhm, yeah. I mean what other reason would I have?

I don’t know. Single Jake Female.

Not Single White Jake?

Uhm, you aren’t white, so that didn’t work.

I’m also not female!

Well, good point. But anyway, to sum up: Stalking.

I am not stalking you.

Promise?

If I was stalking you would I admit to it?

You might be so inclined.

I would not.

So you admit you have considered stalking me before, and have thought out how you would do it!

No! What? No! Freak.

Me? I’m not the one who stole an innocent shopping list!

Wow, why does that bug you so much?

Who does that?

I dunno, it seemed like a funny idea at the time.

Huh.

It wasn’t sinister. Promise.

You’re gonna kill me in my sleep and wear my face like a party mask, aren’t you?

Probably. But it has nothing to do with the shopping list.

Hey!

You know. I get bored.

Ack!

I bet you’d make a good scarf.

…