Have you ever seen Aliens?

Uhm. No. I haven’t seen ghosts either. I’m pretty sure. I think.

No, I mean the movie.

Oh, of course! Why?

I think there is one growing in my living room.

Excuse me?

An alien, growing in my living room walls.

Well, that would be different.

And ugly and frustrating.

What’s going on? In a reality sort of way, not an alien child sort of way.

My wall is giving birth to something inhuman.

Water leak?

I suppose it must be. Halfway down the wall though, just budging…

Ick.

Yes.

Lance it? Just stick a needle in it?

And then have all of the water spill everywhere?

Well what does your building say?

They say they are working on it, and yet still it grows like the virgin Mary, out of nothing. I think it is watching me.

It’s just a swollen wall.

Just a swollen wall? It gets bigger, a tumor in my apartment. Eyeing me and keeping track of my comings and goings, and you call it just a swollen wall.

I think no more late coffee for you.

Don’t blame the coffee!

You’re freaking out.

I do not wish to die because of a wall alien. That is all.

Uhm. Right. Wall alien. Have you been eating its skin? Does the wall alien have lead based skin?

Very funny.

I’m sure they’ll lance it soon and the whole thing will dry out and settle.

It had better. Stupid paint alien.