I love the petting zoo!

Which is why we went.

Yay!

But, uhm, we’re not there anymore.

But the memories will carry me through the day.

Including narration?

Maybe! Like remember the goat?

I hate that goat.

The goat was cute! And I petted him!

That goat tried to eat my jeans.

That was cute!

That was not cute, that was bad. Bad goat.

And let me just say, Jake, that yelling ‘Bad goat!’ a lot didn’t help.

Well…

You just made the cute goat angry didn’t it?

He stopped though didn’t he?

So he could try and head-butt you so you exploded into coins.

Goats! Who needs them!

I like goats.

I liked goats. Until one tried to eat my pants and head-butt me.

Fine, but the rabbits they were cute!

The rabbits were cute.

They didn’t try and harm you.

They did not. Is this how we will judge the day, by which animals attacked me?

Well the chickens…

Demon birds.

You shouldn’t have run!

They were chasing me!

Because you ran!

That’s chicken or the egg.

No eggs chased you!

I meant which came first.

I know! But the chickens did. They came right at you first!

They were working with the goat.

Animals don’t seem to like you.

Animals like me fine. Just not those animals.

I don’t know. Maybe you’re the anti-Noah.

Uhm.

You build an ark that no one wants to get on. The animals all decide to hang out rather than chill with you.

That’s just mean.

All alone. On a boat. Hiding from goats.

This is the saddest story ever.

Awww I’m sure the animals will learn to love you.

After I float away alone on my boat?

They’ll learn the error of their ways and ask you back!

Won’t they only do that because they want on the boat?

Well…

Dumb goat. He caused this. Now I’m alone on a boat. Because of that one goat.

Goat boat!

Anti-goat boat. The no goats allowed boat. The boat sans goat.

Goooooat.

Zero goat.

Tiny goat! Ninja goat! He’ll sneak on.

Goatless!

Open your heart to the goats, Jake.

And by heart you mean boat.

Yes.

Nope. No goat.