We need more kids who get superpowers by screaming someone’s name.

How many do we need?

I don’t know we have, what, one?

Captain Marvel, you mean.

Yeah, well all right one non-obscure one.

So why do we need more?

I like the idea. Some powerless kid knows the right guy and WHAM!

You mean SHAZAM, right?

Yes, I do not thing there is a wizard named WHAM giving out powers.

Andrew Ridgeley wishes that was his job.

True!

Maybe we could design, like, a Captain Marvel, all Blacksploitationed up.

Why would we do that?

It makes me laugh? Like Black Dynamite.

Well, but it’s too easy.

Really? Enlighten me.

SHAFTZAM!

Oh, holy hells, that is perfect.

Yeah it is! He’s powered by some bad mother…

Shut yo mouth!

I’m talkin’ bout Shaftzam!

And no one understands him, but his talking tiger.

I would watch ever single Shaftzam movie or TV episode ever made.

Twice.

Richard Roundtree could play the Wizard Shaftzam.

As if there was another choice?

Fair point, but also, get this, he can send Pam Grier to help the young Bill Batson to learn how to use his powers.

Who would shun this show?

The sad, the wretched, the unloving.

SHAFTZAM!

SHAFTZAM!