I want a tattoo.

You do? Since when?

Since recently, I guess. But I want a tattoo.

Of what?

Well, I was trying to decide.

Uh-huh…

On the one hand I wanted a happy monkey.

And on the other?

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

So, either a happy monkey or text to call Cthulhu?

I just can’t decide.

And where would you put either of them?

I had to think about that a lot too.

Well yeah. Foreheads are tempting but so obvious.

So I decided if I get the monkey it’ll go on my left hip.

And if you reach out to Cthulhu long distance?

My butt!

No, really.

Seriously!

Do you just…

Think about it. Who’s gonna see it? Who sees my butt?

People you sleep with?

Sure! And pretty much no one else.

So you want people you sleep with to be greeted by that.

It’ll sort out which of them are worth keeping fairly quick, no?

I suppose so…

But monkeys are cute!

Why not get a monkey spouting off some fhtagn?

Yes! Perfect butt tattoo! Yes!

Oh, lord, I was kidding.

I’m not!