Oh my.

What?

Look at that.

Where? What?

The guy dressed at Spider-Man.

What about hi… oh man!

Yeeeeah.

You’d think that if you were going to wear a full-on Spider-Man outfit you’d think about underwear.

I did not need to see that.

I will say that…

Don’t go there.

Well Spider-Man swings around town. And we now know his balls swing too.

Argh. Yes.

They’re kind of hypnotic. Every time he strikes a new Spidey-pose it’s like a grandfather clock in his pants.

Yeah, not my scene.

Fair. But it’s like the old song.

The old song?

The old song.

What old song?

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can! Spins a web, any size, watch his balls, stuck to thighs! Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!

I hate you.

I know.

I never need to see Spider-balls again.

So… when I upload the video to YouTube?

Don’t share it.

Aww but I’ll add the song!

You’re a strange man, Mark.

But at least I know to secure my junk.

Thank heavens.

Unlike Spider-Man.

Distinctly unlike Spider-Man.

They really are hypnotic. I wonder if they’re on any known beat…

And we’re going.

Awwww!

Come on, let’s go find people who aren’t showing off their genitals.

Uhm, why?

…why do I give you openings like that?

That’s what he said!

…

Awww yeah.