We got the best flyer today at work.

Free burritos?

We got the second best flyer at work today.

What was it?

An invite to an experimental biology conference.

Experimental biology? That sounds a bit iffy.

Yeah! So, of course, we all wanted to go.

You guys don’t even… why would you get that?

No one knows, it was just in the mail, addressed to me.

To you specifically?

Yup!

Well that’s kind of creepy.

So I wanted to go, really badly.

Well, did they mean experimental biology in the sense of subtle metastatic cell attachments?

Uhm, I assumed they meant making cyborgs and unicorns.

A much better idea!

Right, so I was going to go.

You were going to? As in you are not now?

Well my boss said I could only go if I was an experiment.

So you said no?

I said yes! See also: Cyborgs and unicorns!

You want to be a unicorn?

Not a unicorn per say, but I wouldn’t say no to it. A big freakin’ horn in my forehead for stabbing people? Awesome.

Seems a bit… intrusive.

Well it would take getting used to.

And the cyborg thing…

I could have sweet-ass robot legs!

They’d have to cut off your existing legs! And it’s experimental!

Hmmm.

And think of all the electronics you have now. Think of how often they break down. Or run out of battery.

This is less awesome.

Yah-huh.

Huh.

Wait, you weren’t going though, so if this isn’t why, then why?

Oh, the hotel and travel were kinda pricey.

You had robot dreams and bailed because the hotel was steep?

And thank goodness! They were horrible dreams, as you point out!

So, uhm, thank goodness you are easily swayed by expensive hotels?

Thank goodness!

You’re an idiot sometimes, Jacob.

But I’m an idiot without robot legs.

Well. True.

Woo! Wait, boo, but yay! Hmm.

You just sit quietly and think about it a while.