Do you ever think that people in wheelchairs hate Doctor Who?

What? Why?

Well, they must hate Daleks.

Jake!

No, seriously, think about it. Back in the day they understood. Wheelchairs couldn’t do stairs either. Stupid Daleks.

Uh. Huh.

And then the Daleks started to hover and even fly.

So now people in wheelchairs are mad?

Well why not?

Maybe because they never identified with Daleks anyway? Just because neither could go up stairs! This might be the most offensive thing you’ve ever said!

How is it offensive?

Well, let’s see, you related… oh my God, you can’t be seriously asking.

No, of course not. But the look on your face.

Jacob!

And I don’t think that was the most offensive thing I’ve ever come up with.

It should be!

Naw. I mean when I told Mark we should push people in wheelchairs, or on crutches down flights of stairs to get them past their defeatist attitudes…

Jacob!

Well, don’t you hate defeatist attitudes? I do.

What is your problem with people who can’t walk?

Huh?

All of this is so focused on this one issue.

I don’t have anything against anyone.

Then why the constant slamming on one group?

I hate Daleks?

Damn it, Jacob!

You’re laughing, too!

But I hate you for it!

Well, just, can we blame Daleks?

Stop it!

I tried to! but they were all EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! and then Stephen Hawking sued them for the voice rights and…

Oh, god.

What are the chances that Hawking will find a way to become immortal and become Davros, do you think?

What?

Well!

Well what?

Well he could!

You’re evil.

No, Davros Hawking is evil! And smart! Like.. the bacon of mad scientists.

The bacon of mad scientists!

Yes!

You’re horrible.

Yup!