I don’t think I have ever felt older than I did this afternoon.
Trouble getting out of your office chair?
What? No! Why would I have a problem standing up?
I’m just saying some of us get old and creaky, all right?
All right, Gramps.
Hey, so why’d you feel old?
The radio.
Oh you didn’t listen to classic rock, did you?
Yeah, I did.
Oooh, bad move.
I know that now.
So what did it?
They were playing Green Day. Green Day! As classic rock!
That’s just not right.
It isn’t! And then they played some Metallica.
Christ.
I know!
But it is some sort of sick rite of passage. Having the radio reclassify the music you grew up with as something old.
Yay?
Of course it sucks, still…
Still what? Still hooray we’re old?
Well, no I guess not.
Then again at least I can get out of my own chair without help.
Hey! It was really humid and my knees hurt!
All right, Gramps.
Oh, just wait until something of yours is sore. You just wait.
Uh-huh. Gonna wave a cane at me and tell me to get off your lawn?
I do need a rocking chair.
And a shotgun.
Maybe just a broom.
Oh, a broom is good.
See, when you get old you work stuff like that out.
I am not old.
Uh-huh, all right, sure thing there.
Bah!
Exactly.
Stupid radio.
Stupid chairs.
Stupid kids, today!
With their… I don’t know what do kids today do or have that we can hate?
Their stupid faces?
Yeah! With their stupid… faces!
Well, that does me. Beer?
Let’s. That much pointless hate just makes a man thirsty.
Also kinda sleepy.
Perhaps even gassy.
No. Not gassy.
Oh, must’ve been the burrito I had for lunch then.
Fair enough.
June 3rd, 2010 on 10:46 am
Our local “classic” station was playing freakin’ NIRVANA yesterday. “Bleach” was only released…
… crud. Over 20 years ago. Now I feel old!!!
June 3rd, 2010 on 3:05 pm
Not too long ago, I was shaking my fist at a “classic rock” station which was playing a song LESS THAN FIVE YEARS OLD. Some people need to learn the difference between Internet-time and real-time!
June 3rd, 2010 on 7:51 pm
My episode was: AC/DC’s ‘Back in Black’…as elevator Muzak.
“Inside every forty-year-old man or woman is a twenty-year-old wondering what the hell happened.”
June 16th, 2010 on 2:07 pm
You know what’s even worse? I keep hearing Aerosmith on the local oldies station. Right after the Jackson 5 and Paul Anka. I mean, really? At least with a classic rock station, they have the excuse of saying, “instant classic”, but oldies?
June 16th, 2010 on 2:08 pm
Aerosmith have been around since the early 70s. They’re oldies now.
June 18th, 2010 on 2:39 am
i try not to listine to classic and oldyes it makes me feel old. im 19 just so you know the sevieraty of the situation.