You dated Melina.

I did.

Then you can, perhaps, answer a question for me.

Duuude.

No, nothing of that nature. But I do wonder. Is she as… I mean…

Are you really trying to ask if her kinda crazy is an act for attention?

No, do not get mad, I did not mean it in a bad way, just I wondered if she was… calmer… when she wasn’t around as many people… I guess.

Dude, Mel is Mel.

All right, I’m sorry.

No, like, sometimes, I mean more than once, all right, she woke up in the middle of the night yelling “Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!”

Really?

Yeah and when I asked what her nightmare was about she didn’t get it, cause it was a good dream, just involved a lot of monkeys and I guess she got over-excited about monkeys and there you go.

Wow.

Yeah.

She just woke up yelling the word “Monkey” ?

A-yup.

That’s…

It is, but that’s Mel. She doesn’t fake it, she just enjoys life.

And monkeys.

Well, we all enjoy monkeys. She might enjoy them a bit more than most, I suppose.

That makes her… lucky.

Yeah, I suppose it does. She’s like the Goofball Whisperer.

Perhaps a better term should be employed.

Eh?

Goofball is a drug term for benzodiazepines.

Uhm…

I’m just saying!

Uhhh…

I didn’t mean anything by it.

Well I certainly didn’t mean that she was into… what?

Benzodiazepines.

Right. Those.

Fine, but she can be the Crazy Whisperer.

Yeah, sure. Whatever, Doctor Feelgood.

Hey!

Just saying.

So I know a lot. Hmph.

Uh huh. You’re why we cann’t have nice cold meds.

I’m not a drug dealer!

No, but you toss around the word benza-something, and then they think maybe you do and then they’re saying I can’t have some damned Sudafed.

I am not going to win this, am I?

Never.

Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!

…

No?

No!

Fine. I’ll just be over here, knowing things, which is, it seems, a crime.

Good plan.

Hey!

Just kidding, come on, I’ll buy you a beer, Pusher-man.

Hey!

Nope, not gonna get old for a while.