I got a new job!

Whatcha doin’?

I’m gonna train monkeys.

Wait, what?

Monkey trainer!

Uhm, Melly Mel… have you ever trained a monkey?

Nope! It’s a learn on the job, apprentice type thing.

Uh huh. And you don’t have a degree as a vet or anything…

They said that was all right. The monkeys liked me.

This will not end well.

Why not?

Monkeys are not exactly big balls of kindness. They bite and scratch and some woman had her face torn off by her pet monkey. Torn off!

Wait, what?

Yeah. She had her face torn off. Monkeys can be mean little things, and they’re strong and fast. What happens when one doesn’t want to be trained?

I would try again? Gently?

Yeah, until it decided it had had enough of you.

And then what?

It’d tear your face off.

No.

Yup! Face torn off.

Stop saying it!

You can’t take this job! You have no training. This is really dangerous.

But they’re so cute!

For now.

And I got along with them so well! Not every monkey tears a face off. Most don’t, I’d guess.

Still, risky. What type of monkeys are they?

Spider monkeys.

I hate those.

Why?

The name! Makes me think they’re half spider half monkey all evil horror movie.

They’re sweet little things!

Until they…

Don’t say it!

Well!

But I want to train monkeys.

So dangerous!

So cute.

It’s your face.

Argh! I don’t want my face torn off but I want to train monkeys!

Wear full body armor?

Like plate armor?

Sure!

That might be odd, and could scare the monkeys.

Good it’d show them who was boss!

I think it would enrage them.

But what could they do about it?

If I call and ask if I can wear full plate armor I’ll lose the job. You know that.

Better safe than sorry?

I just wanna train monkeys.

It’s your face.

Argh!