Sven I had an idea.

Dan What kind of idea?

Sven The kind of idea that will work.

Happy Dan Oh, those are the best kind to have.

Happy Sven I agree!

Dan Seriously though, what’s the plan, here?

Sven Well I want a date.

Dan Sure.

Sven You’re still seeing that one…

Dan Stephanie?

Sven The clown?

Angry Dan Yes, but we don’t have to just label her!

Happy Sven Relax. She’s a clown. If she was an accountant I Would’ve asked “The accountant?” but I did not. Because she is not.

Dan Yeah, yeah. So what’s this plan?

Sven I am going to take this old boombox I got and play Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” at high volume.

Dan Uhm.

Happy Sven Yes! I’ll hold it over my head.

Dan Someone will just come down and beat the crap out of you.

Happy Sven Ah! I have a plan to foil that!

Dan Hmm?

Sven Brooklyn.

Dan Hipsters?

Happy Sven Hipsters! They’ll be too busy dissecting the irony in the gesture to bother getting annoyed enough to throw things. Plus if I aim it at a big enough building, I figure some woman who meets my value system will find it cute and come down.

Happy Dan Uh huh.

Happy Sven And then we shall date.

Happy Dan Your value system?

Sven The one, specifically, the one that says that someone holding a boombox over his head and playing that song is worth at least talking to.

Dan Good value.

Sven Thanks.

Dan So you really think this will work?

Happy Sven How could it fail?

Dan Lots of ways. People could throw things, or everyone could think you mean it for a specific person so they all leave you alone, or…

Happy Sven I didn’t want real examples!

Happy Dan But you asked!

Happy Sven You know. I just. This will work.

Dan Well, have you done any conditioning holding that boombox up? It’s heavy.

Sven Yeah, it is.

Dan That’s a workout, right there.

Sven Sweating to the Getting-Oldies.

Happy Dan Uhm, well good luck?

Sven Thanks!