Sometimes I want to throw someone under a bus!

I want a grilled cheese.

What does that have to do with my rage?

Nothing, what does your rage have to do with my cheese-based desires?

Nothing, that’s my point!

No, it’s my point. Why should I have to ignore my grilled cheese wishes just because you’re upset? I shouldn’t. Frankly, I know why you’re angry and I don’t care.

What?

On a basic friend-level of course I care, but this anger, this is bull.

I just hate people and I…

Want to throw one off a building, sure. So that guy said no when you asked him out, didn’t he?

That has nothing…

Has everything to do with it. Man, you need to relax. And frankly, I think you could relax quite well with a good grilled cheese.

So I should bury my feelings in food? That’s a new one from you.

Naw, just lose the anger. Over what? Some guy? Eh. But then, think of how good a grilled cheese would be.

No, you will not turn me with stupid Jedi food tricks!

Fine, I’ll stop. But you need to let go of the rage, Mark. Just… let it go. Whoosh into the wind. Like a pretty little tree. Can you draw a pretty little tree?

Gah! No Bob Ross impressions!

Pretty little trees, Mark, maybe some snow on that mountain.

You’re twisted.

I’m ordering me a grilled cheese. And another shot of vodka.

Yeah?

Yup. I’m thinking maybe seven grain bread and some sharp cheddar?

That does sound…

Nope! You can not have one! If you got a grilled cheese you would only be giving in to my mind control and we wouldn’t want that.

Argh!

Yup. I win.

And this is supposed to reduce my rage?

Oh. Well. Hmm.

Exactly.

All right, we compromise!

How’s that?

We both get grilled cheese and you stop bitching.

How is that a compromise?

It isn’t but it’d get me food and you shut up.

Hey!

My bad. I forgot it would just make you louder. Hmm. How to fix this.

What the?!

Hold on, I’ll call ‘Tashi and ask.

What?

Hey, yeah, ‘Tashi, what’s going on.

I don’t believe you.

Yeah, so, no, nothing, just out with Mark. He’s being a whiny bab… yeah he asked for a guy’s num…

Jake!

Yup, got turned down and is all blustery now… yeah I, no I tried the grilled cheese but… right, well sure if you…

Jake! Get off the phone!

No, he’s just ranting. So listen I was thinking that if I… oh that’s interesting. Wait, how much?

What are you talking about?

No I’m sure they’re nice shoes but come on…

I’m gonna leave.

Huh, no he’s threatening to leave. Sure, hold on. Mark? ‘Tashi says just hold on she’ll be done in a second.

I hate you both.

Yeah he says he… yeah, exactly. All right, talk later.

What were you… what was that?

So anyway. Grilled cheese?

Yes. But what the… dude that was odd.

Talking to ‘Tashi?

On the phone while we’re here? Yeah it was a bit strange.

Why?

I don’t know.

Oh, all right then.

Shut up.

Nope. So, seven grain or rye?

Ohhhh, I’m doing sourdough.

Oh, good one!

Was that your text message noise?

Yeah, just ‘Tashi asking if making you confused and angry about a phone call got you to stop with the rejection rage. I’m telling her it did.

Hey!

Well, it did!

I so hate you both.

Uh huh.

And I want a grilled cheese something bad now.

Mmhmmm.

Hmph.