Did you ever see Back to the Future?

Uhm, obviously?

Right. So it always bothered me.

What did?

Where did Doc Brown get a DeLorean?

What do you mean?

When they were produced they were some of the most expensive cars around. Here’s Doc Brown just needs any car that can go eighty-eight miles an hour, which, we can agree, is every car around at the time?

Yes, of course.

But Doc Brown, who seems to have to deal with terrorists to get fuel for it, who doesn’t seem to have any money at all, really, buys a DeLorean for his experiment?

He saw it in the 50′s! So he knew he had to get that car because it was the car he used.

No, sure, but in the first place, how did he…

There is no “first place,” this is time travel!

Man. I don’t know. I still feel it’s off. Like shouldn’t it have been some regular car?

No joy in it. They had to make the car special otherwise it would’ve looked boring.

Like Bill and Ted’s phone booth?

Which was just a joke on Doctor Who’s Police Box!

Yeah but still!

Nope. Sorry. DeLorean or bust.

I’m not feeling it. And furthermore…

Oh, wait, there’s more?

Yes!

Continue.

Where did Marty get those giant speakers in the opening?

Errr…

Yeah! The one that treats him like an old Memorex ad? Wouldn’t fit through the door. Would have cost untold thousands of dollars. And he had never used them before?

Now you’re just nitpicking.

Did they come from the future perhaps? Or the past? Were they free with purchase of a DeLorean? And why does Marty know Doc Brown anyway? He’s this normal, outcastish, but decent kid. Who happens to be best friends with the town nut job mad scientist?

You have issues with this film.

I do!

I think you secretly love them and only rail against the glory that is Back to the Future because you tried to befriend your local mad scientist as a child and never went back in time.

Yes, that must be it.

Did he perform experiments on you?

Only tiny ones involving electricity.

That explains so much!

I don’t know what you mean!

But seriously. Back to the Future bothers you this much?

Not at all, I mean who cares, it’s a fun movie…

Then why go on like this?

Mark’s late and I’m bored?

You need a hobby.

I have one! Annoying you!

You need a good hobby.

I have one!

It’s annoying me?

Yup!