All right! Ground rules!

Boo!

Hiss!

Let him go on.

You just want to start drinking.

Don’t you?

All of you, shut it! All right! We can’t hold this year’s competition at the bar…

Boo!

Hiss!

…because of last years … mishaps. So we’re good here. If anyone needs to pass out I got the couch and some floor space and…

We’ve all been here before, Mark.

Sure, sure. All right! We each down a round at the same time, each round…

We know the rules!

This is tradition!

Thank you. Each round is completed when everyone has drunk or given up. Every third round we switch drinks. Winner is the last liver standing! Any questions?

Only one.

Every year it is with this question.

Every year.

So let us hear it.

Want to give in now and save yourself some liver damage?

Never!

And drink!

All right, who picked this vodka? This is shitty vodka.

It is far worse than I thought it would be.

We have to do two more rounds with that crap? It tastes like… what did that taste like?

Drink!

It tasted worse that time! It tastes like… meat, almost.

Yeah, kinda beefy.

Vodka should not be beefy!

Drink!

Sven, you got this vodka, what were you thinking?!

That a meat infusion might work. It doesn’t but at least we’re done with it.

You did that on purpose?

Beef infused vodka? Beef?

We’re three rounds in. We’re done with the meat drinks, I hope. Wow I really hope. come on, drink!

Oh this is nice, what is it?

Guy I know gave me a deal on a eighteen year Highland Park scotch.

Oh this is nice. Well done, Jake!

Yay! Much yummier!

It is far less meaty.

You do not talk! Beef infusion.

That’s his new name. Beef Infusion.

It sounds like I fuck cows!

Better than being known for supplying that vodka. Drink!

Woof. It is strong though.

Feeling like retiring already Marky Mark?

Naw, I’m good.

You better be, the night is young!

Drink! It sure is.

I think I’m out.

Already? Are you doing ok?

Vodka plus scotch, I don’t think it sat well.

This is what you get for sucker-punching us with the vodka. Go lie down in corner or something, man. Get some crackers.

Yeah. Oh, and guys? Drink.

I have never learned to love gin.

No?

No, I mean it’s all right but it isn’t…

Gintastic?

Gingasmic?

Gin-penis-engorging?

See how that did not really fit the other two?

Conformity is over rated.

Keep your penis out of my gin.

No worries!

Well I like them.

Gin and penis?

Pretty much!

Drink!

So Natasha, what do I get if I win, this year?

The same thing you got the last time you won?

Nothing at all?

That was it! Yes, I have already purchased that prize for you, in case. I have it wrapped, even.

You’re so sweet. Drink!

I think I’ll use the break card.

You always get to decide when we break.

Neener. Catch your breath, let the stupid amount of booze seep in and make all this worse.

I wanna go pee, but I don’t think I can stand up.

I don’t think you can sit there and pee on Mark’s floor.

No floor peeing! Go, scram! Crawl or something.

Meh!

I’m going to see if there’s anything in the fridge for later.

Oh no you don’t! The old “stick your head in the freezer to refresh yourself” scam? No way! I’m coming with you!

Just be back here in ten.

TO BE CONTINUED