Jake What do you mean?

Mel I mean we need to talk.

Jake We are talking. We were talking about moving in together.

Mel Yeah but we should talk about something else.

Jake Why do I not like where this is going?

Mel Look, Jake, you know I think you’re one of my best friends, and…

Angry Jake Nuh-uh!

Mel Huh?

Jake I know this speech. You’re breaking up with me.

Mel Well, no, I mean yes, but don’t get mad. Let me finish?

Jake Fine. Sorry.

Mel We’re such good friends, and the relationship end is… it’s fun but I feel like something is missing.

Jake Yeah?

Mel Yeah. Like we’re…

Jake Forcing it?

Mel Because both of us are afraid that if we pull the plug on it it’ll make everything go to hell?

Jake Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, won’t it?

Happy Mel Why? We seem to be in the same boat! So why would we let it get awkward?

Happy Jake I don’t know, because that’s what happens?

Mel Well I don’t see why it should. Though if we are in agreement it brings to mind one question.

Jake Yeah?

Mel Why were you suddenly angry before?

Jake Because who wouldn’t be mad at being broken up with?

Happy Mel But you secretly wanted to end things too, right?

Jake Not the point.

Mel I think it is the point. Getting mad over something you want.

Happy Jake When you put it like that. No, I don’t know.

Mel Anyway. So let’s not let it change anything?

Jake Deal.

Mel I mean next week is…

Jake Yup, and if we were awkward at that, it would be a shame.

Mel Friends?

Happy Jake Always.

Happy Mel Hooray!

Happy Jake Woohoo!

Happy Mel We’re broken up!

Happy Jake Huzzah!

Happy Mel Fweee!

Happy Jake We need help.

Happy Mel We totally do! Let’s get Chinese!

Happy Jake Yeah! Victory egg rolls!

Happy Mel The egg rolls of victory!

Happy Jake They shall be ours!

Happy Mel Yes! Yes, they shall!