Episode 100 – Just another night.
It feels like we’ve been here forever.
That’s because you’re drunk.
I am not drunk. Seriously, I think we’ve been here for our whole lives. Were we born here? Shot out onto these chairs, from the birthing canal? Is this all there is?
Our food will get here!
It may not. We could be stuck here, for all of eternity, held in a constant state of flux. Always waiting, never getting. Starving to death but never dieing.
So you’re hungry?
I am, in fact, hungry! Yes!
Well good, because I’m sure our food will get here soon.
I’m not sure what this “soon” you speak of is.
See this is what’s wrong with you.
Hmmm? This again?
Yes, this again. You need to learn to wait. Patience is a virtue.
You can bite me. You know I’m perfectly patient most of the time. I’m just, right now, ravenously hungry. I haven’t eaten all day and now I am waiting an overly long time for some food. It makes me not patient.
Also, you over explain yourself when you feel defensive.
I really do hate you some days.
And you’re fickle in your love.
Oh man, that’s it. When our food comes I am eating your burger and mine. No burger for you.
I didn’t order a burger.
What? No, I heard you. You ordered a burger.
No I didn’t. I ordered the stew.
That sounds nothing like burgers!
I know it doesn’t! I didn’t claim it did!
How did I mistake that for a burger, then?
Uhm, you’re so hungry you might be delirious? Or just normally delirious? Or some other reason so I can keep saying delirious?
That’s it. It has to be. I have the vapors. I am weakened from the fight against hunger and my own brain doth betray me!
A Midwinter’s Night Meal?
I might have the consumption, due to this!
No, if you had consumption, there wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is your lack of consumption!
Christ, I walked right into that.
Yeah, your love of Victorian era diseases has backfired on you once more, old chap.
Damn it!
Pip pip, what, ho!
Uhm.
Yeah, I’m stopping.
Thank you.
I could have continued, but you see there, I did you a solid.
I hate that term, I think.
What, why?
Somehow, in my head, it sounds like you’re taking a shit in honor of something. “Hey man, can you do me a solid?” just … “Hey, bro, how about number two?”
…yeah… Uhm, that’s all you.
I realize! But it gets me.
And now I know to use it more often.
Argh!
Yup!
Also? Where is our food?
Right there.
We’re saved!
Wait, why is she carrying two burgers? I ordered the stew.
You sure? Because I heard burger. Maybe you meant to order the stew but got confused when I said burger?
That’s the saddest story ever.
You love the burgers.
It’s true. All right. Who cares? It’s food! Hooray food!
Hooray, food! Hey after we eat, wanna go see who’s free and do something?
Sure, like what?
Random Stranger Trivial Pursuit?
Uhm, what?
All right, we get a box of cards and the pie things and whatever. We split into teams and then whenever a question comes up we have to ask strangers. If they get it right it’s fine. If not then we lose that question. Like, just people on the street.
What? How have I not played this yet?
Oh lord I think we invented it while you were in Denmark that time, remember?
That was an odd year.
Yeah, anyway, we haven’t played it in ages!
I demand we play this newfangled game now!
But first, we eat!
And then we harass strangers for trivia! Yes!
I love hanging with you, man.
Ditto.
Jett
January 21, 2010
12:27 am
Why do I always feel like these are just protracted conversations you’ve had with yourself?
Not like that’s a bad thing or anything; it totally works.
Liss
January 21, 2010
6:06 am
My love of Victorian diseases will never betray me!
…It may, in fact, be my only true friend.
APK
January 21, 2010
9:11 am
Jett: Naw the conversations I have with myself are FAR stranger. Trust me on this.
Liss: Little do you know! Muahahahah! But I do so love a good consumption joke.
Erik
January 21, 2010
9:46 am
So many great one-liners in this one!
Nice “homage” to the earlier conversation about whats wrong with Mark. =)
APK
January 21, 2010
9:48 am
Well I had to reference Episode 1 somehow, right?
Takaal
January 21, 2010
11:01 am
State of flux…. Fluxx is a fun card game, ideal for playing when waiting for interminably slow restaurant food… Hm. Now I’m hungry.
APK
January 21, 2010
11:02 am
Fluxx is a fun game I hear.
Erik
January 21, 2010
11:16 am
I thought there would be, but you made it seem like a very natural part of the conversation, it didn’t seem out of place or forced, I almost didn’t pick up on it.
I’ve been wondering though, for episode #50 you made a 6 episode story arc, will you be doing that, or something similar, again?
And: Uhm, you’re so hungry you might be delirious? Or just normally delirious? Or some other reason so I can keep saying delirious? – Slice of fried gold! =D
APK
January 21, 2010
11:20 am
Erik: Good! The first draft of this wasn’t NEARLY so subtle, and was actually called “Things Still Wrong With You” – but then I changed my mind.
—–
The 6 episode arc will not happen again. Next week is 101 and 102 and they are planned as a 2 parter with major plot happen. I will tell you that for free. 103 and 104 (another 2 parter), the one year anniversary episodes, are something I have hinted at doing since day 1.
jules
January 21, 2010
2:34 pm
I absolutely want to play Random Stranger Trivial Pursuit.
APK
January 21, 2010
3:04 pm
It is an awesome game. Truly awesome. …I mean, I imagine because I, uhhh, made it up for this strip.
JWH
January 22, 2010
12:38 am
I will play that game when comic-con comes back to san diego
MG Ellington
January 22, 2010
3:15 pm
Happy 100! Congratulations on a strip well done. I loved this one. Victorian diseases always interest me. Way to make me laugh my ass off!
Wolfsblood99
January 23, 2010
5:28 pm
I have one simple statement its very short but holds infinite meaning. Lol
Devilflamejr
January 24, 2010
5:14 pm
Congratulations on the 100! :D great comic! And ordering the wrong meal is something I do surprisingly often :P I just kinda hide it behind the usual “I totally ment to do that” face… And Jacobs been to Denmark? Aww dang, then I completely missed him xD
APK
January 25, 2010
12:54 pm
HAhahah!