Angry Dan I hate going to see movies in the theatre.

Jake Yeah? I love it.

Dan Do you? Do you really? Or do you just think you do?

Jake Uhm, no, I love it. I love getting popcorn and sitting down in a big dark theatre and…

Dan Being surrounded by a bunch of people who talk, get phone calls and generally don’t understand that a theatre isn’t their living room?

Jake I hear that line all the time. I don’t agree with it.

Dan On what grounds?

Happy Jake In my living room? When I watch a movie? No pants! No pants at all, sir!

Happy Dan Fine, but they still behave like they aren’t surrounded by other people.

Jake You know what I saw the other month?

Dan What?

Jake I was in a theatre…

Dan I guessed. Otherwise this would probably have no relevance and I would be forced to mock you.

Jake Point. But yeah in a theatre and there was this guy. A few rows ahead. He was using his phone the whole movie, but not to talk on.

Dan Texting?

Jake No, he had headphones on and was playing video games on it.

Angry Dan What?!

Happy Jake True story. He was playing video games on his iPhone while the movie was on. Headphones in and everything.

Dan Well, I mean I guess his date…

Jake No date.

Dan …kid…

Jake He was alone. Swear to God.

Dan So he goes and buys a full price ticket to ignore a film?

Jake He seriously did.

Angry Dan This is why I hate going to the movies! That guy! That guy right there! His screen was bright and probably distracting, if you noticed him in the darkness.

Jake Yeah.

Angry Dan And he was just oblivious and a total ass.

Jake So don’t go see movies in the theatre.

Angry Dan But I love seeing movies on the big screen. This is my problem. I can’t afford to rent out a theatre every time I want to see a movie.

Jake But imagine if you could. How cool would what be?

Happy Dan That would be the best! Oh man!

Happy Jake It totally would! We should do that.

Dan Uhm, how?

Jake How much can it cost to rent a theatre with a new release?

Dan I don’t know, probably a lot.

Happy Jake More than a large popcorn and large Coke?

Happy Dan Probably not!

Jake Let’s find out, seriously, we should do this, once in our life.

Happy Dan I bet we can get everyone else on board, too. Make a big special night of it.

Jake This would be awesome.

Dan But outside of that idea? A pox upon movie theatres!

Jake A pox, really? You want to go to pox levels on this?

Angry Dan A pox I say! A pox upon them!

Jake What kind of pox? Chicken pox or some other pox?

Dan Some other pox.

Jake Well, we do want to infect all the idiots, too, right?

Dan Yes.

Happy Jake So a pox Romani!

Happy Dan You didn’t.

Happy Jake I did.

Happy Dan Anyway! The point is, I hate movie theaters because of the people.

Jake I get that. I just feel that movies are worth the occasional annoyance to see the way they were meant to be seen. Huge and awesome.

Dan Yeah, but, I don’t know. Sometimes.

Jake Fair enough. So…

Dan Yeah?

Jake Wanna go catch a movie? You’ve put me in the mood.

Dan Yeah, let’s go. But if there are annoying people…

Jake You can set them on fire after the credits roll.

Happy Dan Score!