Dan I wanna rock and roll all night!

Mark And party every day?

Dan No I think twice a week would be good. I mean sometimes you just want to watch some TV.

Happy Mark Yeah but “I want to rock and roll all night and watch Scrubs a few times a week!” doesn’t really scan well for a song.

Happy Dan No, no it doesn’t. But still, who wants to party every night? Every single night, can you imagine it?

Mark It’d be the worst thing ever, wouldn’t it? I mean at first, sure, you’d love it. You’d be excited, happy…

Dan But then, what with you rock and rolling all night you would come to resent the parties as some sort of evil, draconian plot to kill you.

Mark Draconian?

Dan You know, harsh rules, like Draco who wrote the severe laws of Athens?

Mark What? No I know what draconian means!

Dan Then what?

Mark I just didn’t expect it.

Happy Dan I’m not allowed to change up some word usage?

Happy Mark Of course! But you know sometimes you hear a word that you haven’t heard in a while and it comes out of nowhere and wham! you’re just kind of confused for a moment?

Dan Oh, yeah, that! Last week Sven said crapulous.

Mark As in being drunk?

Happy Dan Yeah!

Mark Why would he do that?

Dan Well, he was crapulous at the time.

Happy Mark Crappy!

Happy Dan Quite!

Happy Mark I love old words that fall out of favor. Bringing them back when no one is looking. Just for a visit.

Dan But when I do it you are shocked.

Mark Well … yeah. I said I like to do it. Not I like it done to me. I wasn’t expecting it.

Dan You’re strange.

Mark Bah, so are you.

Dan So anyway we were discussing the party to rock ratio?

Happy Mark Yes, the Golden Hinge!

Dan Golden Hinge?

Happy Mark On one side there is party on the other rocking. You must balance the hinge so that it turns freely. Otherwise a lot of squeaking and rusting can occur.

Happy Dan That might be the worst analogy I’ve heard in weeks.

Happy Mark Worse than Jake’s whole trying to relate… what was that again?

Dan The consistency of pudding to clowns juggling.

Happy Mark Yes!

Happy Dan That might be worse. The two of you… why?

Mark I dunno.

Dan Do you do it on purpose?

Mark No?

Dan Hmm.

Mark But anyway, the Golden Hinge!

Happy Dan We are not calling it that.

Mark Then what?

Dan I… why don’t we just call it the Party to Rocking Ratio?

Mark Far too simple.

Dan Because it’s right and easy to remember?

Mark Pretty much.

Dan Right! Party to Rocking Ratio it is.

Happy Mark Well. Fine. So three days of parties or two?

Dan I think it depends.

Mark But never four?

Happy Dan Probably not. Excepting birthdays and holidays.

Happy Mark Fair!

Happy Dan Now we need to work out when rocking ends and parties begin and when they switch back.

Mark Well every night and every day, couldn’t we just use either noon and midnight or daylight and darkness?

Dan We could, but I was thinking we could draw up a chart. A chart we could show others.

Happy Mark Get the paper!

Happy Dan Have it!

Happy Mark And a marker!

Happy Dan Have it!

Happy Mark Commence with the grids!

Dan Woo!