Well, damn.

‘Sup?

Eric broke up with me.

Oh no! What happened?

What do you think happened? I happened.

What does that mean?

It means, sadly, that he got in his own way again. Mark, come on. Didn’t we have a talk the other night about this?

Yeah, Jacob, we did. I guess I’m just too dumb or…

Nope. You don’t get to take your anger out on me. Who’re you mad at?

Me.

Why?

Because I totally suck at relationships.

That’s not true! You guys were good together.

Sure. But I got paranoid, and took everything too seriously and I just couldn’t… I couldn’t get out of my own head.

Yeah, you can’t have a relationship like that.

No, you can’t.

Come on, Jake, cut him some slack.

He knows I love him. Mark you know I love you, right?

Yeah.

See, he knows. He’s like my brother. Come on, but he also … Mel this isn’t new.

Still…

No, Jake is right. I keep talking about getting better, trying harder but…

You talk about it and never get around to doing it.

Until it’s too late. And then when the next one happens?

I do it all over again.

Maybe you should see someone!

I just broke up with Eric, Mel!

No I mean like a therapist.

I don’t like them.

Why not?

Oh here we go…

Ha! Well, I don’t know the idea of paying someone to listen to you talk just seems pointless.

You bought this round, right?

Uhm, yeah?

So you’re paying us to listen.

I would like to think you would be here anyway.

You never can tell.

He’s right.

You two suck.

I’m just saying, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just consider it at least, will you?

All right.

Promise?

Yes.

It might be good for you, man.

So, anyway. Let’s, can we talk about something else for a while?

I saw a dog today!

She did. I don’t know who was more excited. The dog or her.

Hey!

Total toss up.

Hey what ever happened to your…

Don’t bring up the…

Lizard?

Lizard.

It was a gecko.

Was?

Was.

Was. Floppybutt…

You have to rename that cat.

Floppybutt got into the cage and well…

Let’s just say that the reruns of Godzilla versus the Cat Monster got it wrong.

Cat won?

I came home to half a gecko. Half a gecko! It was horrible!

Oh god, I shouldn’t laugh but…

But you’re laughing.

I did too, it’s all right.

No, it wasn’t all right when you laughed and it isn’t… this is why I didn’t tell anyone!

So, but, now, I mean…

Ask it.

Do you pay more for car insurance?

I want to hate you so much right now!

But you need to stop giggling first?

Yes!

Oh man.

I feel almost ashamed for that one.

Almost.

Totally almost. So close and yet so far.

Half a gecko away from it, in fact?

You two!

Oh man, laughing too… hard can’t… breathe… must… talk like… Shatner…