Last night I broke my TV.
You mean your TV broke?
No, I mean yes, it did, but it was my fault, truth’s.
How did you break your TV?
With a shoe.
I’ll bite. Why did you break your TV with a shoe?
In my defense…
Yes?
In my defense I can say this…
Yes?
I grabbed the wrong shoe.
I believe I may be forming a picture.
Possibly.
You threw a shoe at the TV?
Indeed.
And you grabbed the wrong shoe.
That is what I said.
And given your shoe collection that could have been rather…
Terminal for the TV.
I understand.
And while I take the blame for this upon my own shoulders…
Because you threw a shoe through your TV!
Yes, exactly, I do accept that, I would still like to place some small amount of the blame upon the TV itself.
It was asking for it?
I believe that it was, yes.
What was on that was bad enough to warrant death by shoe?
Now you must remember I was not trying to kill the TV. I was intending to bop it upon the head, not unlike Little Bunny Foo-Foo. So I reached for my slipper and let fly.
Except instead of a slipper and bopping him on the head you put a… a what?
Six inch spike.
I a six inch spike heel through Little Bunny Foo-Foo’s cranium.
That would be what happened, yes.
Poor Foo-Foo.
Poor TV.
So what was on, again?
A sitcom.
A sitcom raised your ire that badly?
Yes.
What sitcom is bad enough to deserve a six inch spike heel through the head?
It was supposed to be a slipper. And Three’s Company.
I…
If, at any point in any episode, anyone simply said “Here is what we are doing, laid out simply,” the show would not exist. It isn’t funny. It is a collective of idiots going about never learning from their mistakes.
But it’s Three’s Company!
I do not care if it is God’s own cooking show. There are rodents who are smarter than these characters. Mice learn how to walk mazes to get food. These people, they never learn a thing. Episode after episode they do the same mistakes and get the same results. Every time!
Why didn’t you just flip the channel?
I was going to, after I smacked them, collectively, upside the head with my slipper.
Except.
Yes. Except.
I hope you learn from this.
Yes, I will not keep my shoes that near to the couch any longer.
No, I mean just don’t throw things at the TV.
Oh.
October 6th, 2009 on 1:25 am
Tash just laid out how I feel about most sitcoms. Having said that… poor TV. Was it an old tube-TV or a new Flatscreen jobber?
October 6th, 2009 on 9:28 am
I hope it was a flatscreen. Breaking a CRT – which is rather harder than you might expect – is a nigh-on explosive event.
October 6th, 2009 on 9:31 am
Very nice. I can totally relate to wanting to bop the TV on the head like Little Bunny Foo Foo.
That said, I am surprised that you didn’t find a way to insert a gratuitous sexual reference to the episode number in the dialogue.
October 6th, 2009 on 9:39 am
“God’s own cooking show”
That sounds like it should be the title of a cooking show.
October 6th, 2009 on 9:53 am
El and Drew: It was a flatscreen. Do you think ‘Tashi would have an old TV? *smirk*
Bish: I specifically avoided it in fact! Felt too obvious. The episode’s original name was “The reference you’re waiting for isn’t in here” but I changed it at the last minute.
Matt: Cooking with God? “Set your bush to 400 degreees…”
October 6th, 2009 on 10:40 am
then add water… lots and lots of water:D
October 6th, 2009 on 10:50 am
Burning bush? There’s a cream for that.
October 6th, 2009 on 11:11 am
This is the second time this week that Little Bunny Foo-Foo has appeared in my life. (This probably says something about my life, but DAMN, I’m glad I found TWWM, it makes it all less scary. Sort of.)
October 6th, 2009 on 11:32 am
DFJ: BAh!
Laszlo: You probably have it in your pocket. Just because you have everything ELSE in your pockets.
Takaal: if TWWM makes life less scary you may want to stay indoors.
Also, just FYI, comments are not being MAILED to me today from this site, so if I am slow to respond or approve things I apologize. It is annoying. and I am trying to fix it.
October 6th, 2009 on 5:25 pm
It’s probably a good thing that I don’t actually own spikes because this so would have happened to me by now if I did…
And burning bush? OUCH.
October 6th, 2009 on 6:07 pm
See, the remote would be better served for this purpose. Hitting the TV doesn’t teach the people in it anything. Also, man! I avoid the 69 joke and get groans for one bit of bible humor!
October 6th, 2009 on 11:32 pm
See, I once tried to do a headstand and fell over and broke open my foot on a TV. The TV was fine. It would take a lot to break a TV, IMO.
October 6th, 2009 on 11:49 pm
Depends on the TV. Flat screens can be pretty easy. Nintendo had a huge issue with people not using the strap on the Wii remotes and breaking TVs by letting go and throwing them at the screen.
November 24th, 2009 on 3:11 pm
I’m not saying I have every thing in my pocket but I do have a small first aid kit, and a large mettle crucifix. I did go without the pens though I felt naked then I needed them…there that’s all you need to completely understand me! =D