Do you guys shave?

That should be obvious, Sven, as I have no beard.

Yah, visual evidence is compelling.

I don’t either!

I didn’t mean your faces.

Wait, so you mean…

Yes.

And why do you have a sudden need for this information?

Humor me.

Dude. Odd.

Whatever. Yes. I keep it as smooth as a whistle.

A whistle? That’s your metaphor?

Well! You blow whistles, right?

You’re horrible!

I have my moments.

I was reading this thing the other day…

And by “thing” you mean “on the internet”?

Yes.

What happened to books? To newspapers? To the printed word?

It’s right there on my screen. Anyway. I was reading this thing and this guy was going on about pubic hair.

Was he?

He was.

And this thing compelled you to ask us about ours.

He was talking about how he enjoyed only what he called “full bush.”

Everyone has their preferences. So what?

It was his reasoning that made me blink.

This I have to hear.

He said that shaving fully means one of two things. First that the person has a lot of sex.

And he said this in a bad way?

Insinuating that anyone who has a lot of sex is a whore, I’d bet.

That seemed to be his implication.

Yup, this guy was from the internet.

The second was that the person recently got over having crabs.

Wow.

Huh.

What a line!

Yeah.

So you read this and knowing him to be a crackpot you decided to ask us anyway, just to prove to yourself he was a crackpot, which you already knew?

Well…

So they idea that different people might like different levels of…

Friction?

Upkeep!

Visual and tactile aesthetic just escaped him.

So it would seem.

Yes.

That’s kinda hysterical!

It is, isn’t it?

Here’s this guy, and I’m going to assume he doesn’t have much sex?

I could not tell you.

I can assume it. Oh, oh, and let me ask!

Hmmm?

Did he mention people or only women?

Well. He didn’t specifically say women, but yes. He implied it heavily.

Because why would a guy ever cut it back?

Whistles!

Enough with your whistle.

Toot toot!

Hahahah!

Steamboat Willy here notwithstanding, isn’t it less common for guys than women?

No.

Nuh-uh.

But it used to be.

Yes. Sure. Even so.

Even so we’re spending way too much time discussing this one guy and his strange issues with women.

And their pubic hair.

And their pubic hair. Time we could other spend discussing serious issues of the day. Issues that would make a difference in our lives and the lives of those around us.

Such as?

Who buys the next round?

Oooh, we should call a diplomat for that.

Bill Clinton can come talk to us and we’ll have to buy whatever round he says!

I bet he shaves it down.

You think?

Like a whistle.

Oh god. I didn’t need to picture that!

Which means you get the next round.

What?

You lost the mental fortitude challenge!

He’s right. Crippling mental image means you lost.

I didn’t know we were…

Tell us about it when you get back.

I bet you all have crabs.

Thirsty ones! Hurry back.