What’cha wanna do this weekend?

I dunno. We could go see a movie.

We could go to a museum.

We could play laser tag.

Where is there still laser tag in the city?

There has to be laser tag somewhere. We should totally go!

I’ve never been big on laser tag. I remember when it first came out and you got the two black guns and sensors in one big box. Mark and I had a set.

That sounds like fun.

It was, sorta. I mean no many places to hide in our apartments and we didn’t want to play outside.

Why not? That’s the awesome fun.

Manhattan in the mid80s. People were mugging folks for shoes sometimes. You didn’t want to run around with expensive laser tag guns.

That sucks.

Yeah, then laser tag parks came around and frankly I just got sick of the words laser tag. It was never that much fun.

I always thought laser tag was fun. Though I admit I kinda sometimes maybe cheated a bit.

You cheated?

Well I would play possum and then surprise people and shoot them.

That phrase!

Hmm?

Playing possum. We hates it, filthy hobbiteses!

What’s wrong with playing possum?

Ever watch the Muppet Show?

Do cyborg bears want to eradicate pirate deer and take over the world?

Obviously.

There’s your answer then.

Right. Well every time I hear that phrase, “playing possum,” I think of Marvin Scuggs.

And the Muppaphone?

And the Muppaphone.

So when you hear the phrase “playing possum” you instantly imagine a guy with some sticks hitting possums and making them yelp in tune?

Specifically spoons, yes. He hits them with spoons.

Why spoons?

I don’t know! I didn’t seek this out, it sought me out. I am at its whim.

The whim of possum playing, spoon wielding Marvin Scuggs.

Possibly his evil brother, Harvey. Harvey Scuggs.

The whim of possum playing, spoon wielding Harvey Scuggs.

That’s it exactly.

So every time I say it…

Yes.

Playing possum.

Uh-huh.

You imagine the artistic endeavors of possum playing, spoon wielding Harvey Scuggs.

I do.

What does that have to do with laser tag?

Nothing at all.

Then can we go play laser tag?

Nope.

Why not?

‘Cause you’d cheat!

How would I cheat?

You’d play… ARGH! Now you have me saying it!

I win! I win! Gimmie kisses, cause I win!

Still not playing laser tag.

Doesn’t matter. I win!