You know what I like?
That we’re here, squirreling away some time while our friends are off at a beach house having fun?
No, I don’t like that, keep up. No, I like pooping.
Excuse me?
I enjoy a good bowel movement, Sven.
Why are you telling me this?
I don’t know, I mean aren’t we two well adjusted guys?
Perhaps.
And as such we can talk about anything. No topic is taboo to today’s man! We could discuss crying.
Yes, yes we could.
Or meat. Or football, ponies, the economy, anything we wanted we could discuss openly and freely. That is the modern way, Sven. Are you with me?
Guardedly, but yes.
Well then! I declare that poop is something and it can be discussed.
And this is where you would run into your error.
What error?
Fecal matter is not up for discussion.
Why not?
Daniel. I simply and truly have no desire to discuss anything that comes out of your ass.
But…
Yes, fine, except if there were monkeys actually flying out of it. But only then.
But, I enjoy a good poop.
Why must you even call it that?
What? Poop?
Yes, you make it sound … it is as if you want it to sound cute and cuddly. It is not cute nor should it be cuddled. It is shit. Fecal matter. Excrement.
Eh, poop sounds funny. Poop poop poop.
Regardless. I do not care if you enjoy it or not. We are not discussing your … poop.
Man, Sven. I didn’t know you were this uptight.
I’m not uptight!
I dunno.
Just because I do not wish to discuss this one thing with you?
Yup.
So with everyone else you freely discuss your, what was it?
Love of pooping.
Yes, that. Everyone else is fine with this?
No, some of them are uptight, as well.
Perhaps we are not uptight, we simply don’t want to discuss…
Uptight.
Argh!
Oh, relax Sven. You know what you need?
A drink.
That too, but also? Go poop, it’ll relax you.
I saw that line coming. I did. I tried to avoid it but…
The inevitability of the moment seized you and overtook all possible alternate outcomes?
Pretty much.
Neat.
August 11th, 2009 on 12:37 am
And suddenly I see why Dan and Mel get along.
August 11th, 2009 on 9:34 am
I have to agree with Dan. A good poop can be very liberating.
August 11th, 2009 on 9:57 am
Elf: Ha!
Bishopx: But do you have to discuss it?
August 11th, 2009 on 11:25 am
I may have to hold on to that “Cute and cuddly” line for future reference.
On the matter at hand,… I really have (almost) nothing to say. *I* wouldn’t discuss pooping (shitting, whatever), but I wouldn’t discuss a lot of subjects.
August 11th, 2009 on 11:25 am
Thebes: Well there ya go. Yeah, everyone has their own line they draw, really. It can be fun finding those lines.
August 11th, 2009 on 6:37 pm
Poop: not so much a taboo subject in my inner circle of peoples as much as it is a topic no one bothers bringing up. It’s a very boring subject. Conversations strictly about it end up trailing off in a few sentences, at least for me.
Also, line 7: you mean two, not too; I think. I think it’s supposed to imply plural-tude, not them being overly adjusted. Could be a misunderstanding. Whatever.
August 12th, 2009 on 8:30 am
Oh man… horrible flashbacks to this one time I ended up somehow discussing poop with a girl I rather wanted to sleep with. There was no way out!
August 12th, 2009 on 11:31 am
Aroinak: Heh typo fixed, thanks.
Daniel: HAHAHAH!
August 13th, 2009 on 10:15 am
I personally don’t feel the need to discuss my poops. My father in law on the other hand, has repeatedly called my house to tell my wife about the awesome poops he has produced.
August 13th, 2009 on 10:16 am
They formed a bond. A bond over poop.
October 15th, 2009 on 5:33 pm
A good poop is the best thing on the planet..
November 24th, 2009 on 1:38 pm
What is with you people and Defecation! Lol.