Episode 38 – Epically epic.
Hey.
Oh man, you missed it!
I did? What did I miss?
The epic of last night. The truly, utterly epic.
Epic the likes of which we have almost never witnessed!
Why did you not call me, then?
Too busy. Epic, dearling. You don’t understand. But epic.
Guy came in, just a guy, I dunno. He came in and it was his birthday. So he and his friends were sitting over by the window. You know the broken one?
The one with no latch?
Yes, the one you never sit at when it is windy.
Well I do not, no.
I enjoy a nice breeze.
Anyway! Right? So he sits there and his friends and they’re having a good time. Singing happy birthday and stuff to him, it’s all fine. And then he gets it in his head that he wants to celebrate with something special to drink.
Special as in umbrellas or flaming?
Flaming!
So he got the shot burned his lips?
That would be sad, predictable and not at all epic.
No, dearling, no. He gets his flaming shot. And he goes to drink it.
He starts to get ready to blow it out before drinking it. He’s got it under control.
And then…
He sneezes!
Oh no!
And the shot jostles and he drops it. It does a dance, right in his hand, and he wants to catch it. You can see it in his face, like prom night and the glass is his date and there it goes – laughing all the way down to set fire to his crotch.
What did you do at your prom Natasha?
Set fire to my date’s crotch!
Wait, what?
Grabby boy. Simply grabby. I had matches. He had a crotch. Anyway!
Yah, moving away from Carrie for a second here. Yikes. So he sets his pants on fire! And then, I mean, like you do, he gets up and starts to scream and slap at himself.
Oh this poor guy.
And his friends are all helping, not thinking, just slapping and punching him in the crotch, to help, you understand. But it spilled all down his pants, so then he tries to take his pants off.
Except, of course, hello you’re in a bar so there’s a fire extinguisher. Which is now being carried up, to put the fire out. But by the time they get it ready this guy is pantless, jumping up on and down on his pants. In shock and pain from being hit in the crotch so often.
And then, oh goodness, then … they just …
It all happened so fast, you know?
What?
They fired the extinguisher anyway.
Picture it. Set fire to your crotch, have four friends punch you, repeatedly, in the dick and then have sub-zero temperature foam and liquid sprayed over it.
Oh. My. God.
Becky, look at her butt.
Beat me to it. But yes, so the guy goes down, like Indiana Jones had been by. Stealing the jewels from the natives. Yoink! And he’s on the floor, and, I swear to God, man I swear this is how it happened. Mark yelled out “Five bucks if he does another flaming shot!”
He did not!
He did!
Why am I not hearing this from Mark?
Two day bar ban for almost starting a fight!
A fight?
They figured if they could have moved much he would’ve taken a swing so…
That’s bullshit!
Did we, did we mention the guy, you know, Long Gone Ballsack, he’s related to Richard somehow?
Owner Richard?
Owner Richard.
Well damn.
Yeah just a two day, and worth it. We only came by tonight to see if they meant it. But we’re heading over to Mark’s soon. Come with?
Totally!
But first! Flaming shots!
Hooray!
No way. No. No.
Flaming shot! In memory of what’s-his-name!
Long Gone Ballsack?
Crotch Rocket?
Johnny LaLoosh!
Who?
Prom date?
Yup!
To LaLoosh!
LaLoosh!
wanderer
June 18, 2009
7:49 am
first and to laloosh great little fun place you have got here
tnrkitect
June 18, 2009
8:42 am
Love it!
APK
June 18, 2009
9:19 am
Wanderer: Our very first “first”, how sweet! Glad ya like it!
tnrk: Thakns!
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
9:20 am
hahaha, this one is brilliant xD I’m gonna take all the mental images and put them in my treasure box :D Crotch rocket away!
APK
June 18, 2009
9:21 am
DFJ: See what you guys don’t know is how much of this comic comes from my life and stories from my friends. So ponder THAT a while.
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
10:21 am
APK: if I ever get to go to Manhattan, I’ll definately find that bar:P
APK
June 18, 2009
10:23 am
DFJ: This place gets famous enough we can have a big meeting *grin*
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
10:48 am
APK: haha, sounds like a plan ^^
APK
June 18, 2009
10:49 am
DFJ: Now I just need to get this place famous *grin*
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
11:15 am
make a banner we can copy-paste into our signatures on forums, it might help:)
APK
June 18, 2009
11:20 am
DFJ: http://www.thingswrongwithme.com/images/twwm-vert.jpg for the small vertical one and http://www.thingswrongwithme.com/images/twwm-hor.jpg for the large skyscraper one.
APK
June 18, 2009
11:27 am
ALSO: http://www.thingswrongwithme.com/images/twwmicon.gif
for use in forums or livejournal and so on. Added both these to http://www.thingswrongwithme.com/about/ – The F.A.Q. so that should help!
Backfirejr
June 18, 2009
11:33 am
Hmmm… reminds me of another joke… fiery loins…
Anyway! Awesome strip, poor guy xD
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
11:33 am
haha, okay, I’ll check around before asking next time xD
APK
June 18, 2009
11:33 am
BFJ: Fiery lions? A specific joke? Tell it!
APK
June 18, 2009
11:34 am
DFJ: No no, I JUST added them because you said something and made me go “Oh for christ’s … I should have done that months ago!” so it was BECAUSE of you, not you asking for something that was already there.
Backfirejr
June 18, 2009
11:43 am
APK: It’s from another webcomic. It’s about this tabletop game franchise called Warhammer. So, in the comic, this guy wins a contest at a Warhammer convention and then he gets to name and design his own army for the franchise and then the army is put into production and sold in stores. The thing is, however, the company gets the name wrong and subsequently mess up the theme completely. He named the army The Fiery Lions, but they got it wrong and named it The Fiery Lions, so they make an entire army of soldiers running around with loinclothes, which are on fire xD
APK
June 18, 2009
11:45 am
BFJ: Hahaha! That’s awesome! I would start playing Warhammer if they made those.
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
11:45 am
ahh, so I didn’t mess up, I actually helped out! that’s good to know:D I didn’t think I saw it, when I first started reading either:/
Devilflamejr
June 18, 2009
11:49 am
anywaste, off to spread the word! to the forums my minions MUHAHAHA! (okay, I’m getting way too geared up over the coming release of overlord 2)
Backfirejr
June 18, 2009
11:50 am
APK: I just noticed that I made a spelling mistake… the second name (the one that’s messed up) is supposed to be Fiery Loins, not Lions :P Oh well, you managed to see through it.
APK
June 18, 2009
11:53 am
DFJ: Woohoo!
BFJ: Yeah I got it, no prob.
Rhiannon
June 18, 2009
12:16 pm
LMAO! That’s brilliant! :D
APK
June 18, 2009
12:17 pm
Thanks!
sco3tt
June 18, 2009
6:08 pm
The exact same thing happened to me, but the shot wasn’t on fire, I didn’t get punched and there was no fire extinguisher.
Ok, so not the exact same thing but still.
APK
June 18, 2009
11:37 pm
HAhahaha! BUT STILL indeed, sir!
spider monkey
June 25, 2009
5:51 pm
*headdesk* Laughing… too… hard!!!!
Matt
July 6, 2009
11:18 am
Pretty sure this is my favorite episode thus far! Had me chuckling out loud at work. (Cube mates think I’m nutz anyway…)
Jonathan
October 15, 2009
4:01 pm
..*eyes the vodka shot bottle,shot glass and matches* don`t do it Jonathan,don`t do it..
Wolfsblood99
November 24, 2009
11:50 am
Sympathy pain! So much sympathy pain. XO