Mel Shoe dilemma!

Mark Uhm?

Mel No, seriously, listen, help me work this out.

Mark Work what out? Melly Mel, I’m not fully sure what…

Mel All right! This is a tale of confusion and shoes and harmony in nature.

Mark Oh, well so long as it makes sense then…

Mel I love my Converse. Love them.

Mark Purple hi-top is a good choice for you.

Mel And I love them

Mark You love them, so where’s the problem?

Mel I need a new pair.

Mark Oh, Melly Mel, they still sell them, cheap, too, I know a place.

Mel No, I know they do. But these days Cons are made by someone else.

Mark Ohhh, I heard about that. So?

Mel It isn’t the same. The quality is a bit less and the trendy is way up.

Mark Didn’t Nike buy them out?

Angry Mel Yeah back in 2003. Damn it.

Mark So don’t buy them.

Angry Mel But I love them!

Mark So buy them?

Sad Mel But they’re Nike Fakecons!

Mark Uhm.

Mel I know. There’s no good answer.

Mark Maybe buy a different type of shoe all together?

Mel Like what? A sneaker? A shoe?

Mark Well you’re replacing your comfy sneakers so some kind of … fabric basic shoe.

Mel Not many of those these days worth their weight in laces.

Happy Mark True enough, but come on!

Sad Mel I will be forced to go barefoot in sadness.

Mark And to the hospital in infectious pain. No, just buy the shoes. Are they the same? No, of course not. Will they do? I’m certain of it.

Mel How do you know?

Mark When I was a kid I had a turtle. Tiny little water turtle. And my mom accidentally dropped it down the garbage disposal, while I was gone. She got me another one and I didn’t notice. I didn’t. It was all fine. She told me when I was grown and…

Angry Mel That’s from My Blue Heaven! That wasn’t you!

Happy Mark No?

Angry Mel No!

Happy Mark Oh well, worth a try.

Mel You tried to soothe me with a fake tale from your childhood that was a movie plot?

Mark If that didn’t work I was going to tell you about the time I had to rely on my knowledge of cars to get a friend out of trouble while in a small town that really looked at us funny.

Happy Mel My Cousin Vinnie? Mark!

Happy Mark Soothing!

Mel You’re bent.

Happy Mark And you need new shoes. Let’s go buy you some Cons.

Mel Hmph.

Mark It’ll be fine.

Angry Mel Hmph!

Mark And you can throw the old ones at Jake’s head.

Happy Mel Ooooh!

Mark It reminds me of this one time. We were kids still, and we went off on an adventure, just walking, you know, and then we found a dead body, and…

Happy Mel Stand By Me?

Happy Mark Shhhh. Don’t ruin the moment. There we were…

Happy Mel At least pretend to have been in Goonies, or something.

Happy Mark Pretend?! I would never!

Happy Mel Uh huh. Yeah this reminds me of that time I found an alien in my closet and we shot him back into space.

Happy Mark That is not how E.T. ends.

Happy Mel It’s how you’re gonna end.

Happy Mark Threats now?

Happy Mel Well, it’s like when I was in the Army during the Korean war and all we had were our wits to sustain us while doctoring away…