So yesterday I ran into Jeff.

Which Jeff? There are a few Jeffs. Jeff with the face?

Jeff with the dog. Not Jeff with the face. Jeff with the face, man is he even still around?

What do you mean? Did he die? He didn’t die. Did you hear he died?

No, not at all. How about Jeff with the hair?

He isn’t.

He isn’t what?

With the hair.

What? That’s simply not … I mean he’s Jeff with the hair! How can he not be with the hair?

He shaved it. Man, how did you miss that?

When, when was this affront to nature allowed to occur?

I dunno, a few months ago, man.

Oh, a few months ago. Yeah I was busy that day. What?! How did I miss this! How did you not miss it and let it happen?!

Hey don’t blame me. But he doesn’t have the hair anymore.

But … the hair…

I know. It was epic.

Sir. You do not call a two foot diameter jewfro epic. You call it… I don’t know. There is no word for it. It is beyond language.

It’s true! We would have had to invent new words just to describe it.

Except I kinda managed to describe it with that whole bit about the size of it and whatnot.

No, you classified it, sure, but you didn’t get across the truth of it. White skinny guy, two foot ball of hair … just … wow.

Wow.

But it’s gone.

Damn. So ok we can’t call him Jeff with the hair then.

We can’t exactly go for Jeff without the hair, because that’s every other Jeff as well, you know?

Jeff that had the hair?

Jeff the hairless?

He’s hairless?

Oh, well, no. Right. Hmmm.

He has to have some other stand-out feature!

I’ve got it! Jeff with the shoes!

Yes! He has those shoes, doesn’t he?

With the yellow laces. Yeah.

Well good. All right. Jeff with the shoes it is.

But no, you ran into Jeff with the dog?

Yeah. His dog died.

Oh come on!

What?

We have to rename him, too?

Or buy him a new dog.

I’m voting for buying him a dog. Way easier.

You might be right. This is a plan.

Seriously. Because otherwise, what?

We could get him a cat.

No I didn’t mean, like, if we didn’t get him a dog what animal, I meant what other options are there, in general?

We could use people’s last names, instead?

We could.

Probably should.

Let’s just go get Jeff with a dog a new dog so he can still be Jeff with a dog.

You’re right.