This sucks.

I know it does, dearling.

It really, really sucks.

You just let it all out.

Maaaaaaaaaaan!

So why not tell me why you are so much with the sadness?

I got dumped.

You were dating someone?

I was!

And you didn’t tell me?

I didn’t tell anyone.

Not even me?

I didn’t wanna, I mean in case this, this happened see?

So you wouldn’t trust your friends to feel sorry for you?

He was different.

Different?

You all would’ve laughed!

Oh, dearling, no. Tell me about him.

He was really nice and happy and…

No, what made him different?

Oh. You’ll laugh.

Eleven toes? Totally hairless? Albino?

He trained chickens.

I… what?

He trained chickens, like to be used in movies.

They train chickens? For the movies?

To, you know, they have to stand still, or run.

This can not be true. They’re just chickens.

It was confusing to me, too, but he showed me.

See, I am not laughing.

You want to.

Of course, but I am not. So why did he break up with you?

Well that’s the worst! He tried to dodge it, and just tell me had had to move because of a big gig in L.A.

Doing?

Training chickens for Lassie.

Lassie is a dog, right?

That’s what I said! And he tried to tell me that they were making Chicken Lassie!

No!

Yeah.

Chicken Lassie? Lassie that is a chicken?

Yes!

Quick, Jimmy is in the well, Lassie is clucking a lot, for seriously?

That’s what he tried to convince me of, he was obviously telling lies!

Yes.

But then I got him to admit that and he was just … lots of things didn’t work for him, I guess.

Personality things? Household cleanliness levels? Bedroom things?

Personality things, mostly.

Then forget him. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, then you are better off without him.

I guess. But it hurt, you know?

Of course it does. And now you are wondering if it was all true and you are horriblness in person.

Exactly.

You are not. And maybe, anyway, some of it is true, does not matter. It is over. But only some of his problem was personality?

Some bedroom stuff but it doesn’t matter.

Yes it does.

No, it doesn’t it was him not me.

Ahhh he didn’t like to…

No!

And somehow that became your problem for wanting him to?

Yeah!

Men! Why do we bother?

I don’t know! Let’s not!

Are you asking me to … I mean, Melina…

What? No, I wasn’t … I mean, I’m not…

You were, weren’t you?

I… no, of course not.

I’m not offended, or mad or anything, sweetie.

Well good because I wasn’t.

No, I would’ve said yes. Shame.

Now you’re just teasing me.

No, dearling, I’m not.

Well I wasn’t, anyway. I mean I think men are stupidheads right now, but I’m not attracted to girls. You, uhm, though…

Not always. But yes I, too, prefer the boys.

I’m a bit confused now, this was all me sad and now we’re discussing if we like sleeping with girls?

We could have some tea and discuss freshness. Or flavored coffee.

I was thinking waffles.

A good call. Let us go get waffles and commiserate and ponder girl-on-girl action.

I never should have even jokingly said that to you, should I?

Not ever.

Can we make Daniel think we are sleeping together then?

And Jacob?

Yes! This is better than waffles, let’s go find them!

We may have to offer them some proof.

I’m not against that, I mean so long as proof isn’t a hardcore scene in the middle of the street.

Damn. Well there goes my nefarious plan.

HAHAHAH! Thanks, Tashi.

For what, dearling? I’m just teasing you.

For making me feel better.

Of course. Now let’s go torture the boys a bit.

Or at least poke them a lot. With forks. And chase them around.

Or that.