I want ice cream.

So let’s go and get some ice cream.

All right!

I think there’ s a place open down … yah a few blocks over.

What kind are you gonna get?

I have no idea. Depends on what they have, really.

Cone? Waffle cone? Cup? Scoop count?

You want the ice cream facts? You can’t handle the ice cream facts!

Uh HUH!

Nuh UH!

No, come on, I have never seen you eat ice cream!

That is impossible!

Are you calling me a liar, Jacob?

No, but I eat ice cream all the time.

No you don’t! Maybe you want to, maybe you think about it but you have never had ice cream while I am around!

Untrue! I can, off the top of my head, think of two times I have had ice cream around you!

Nuh UH!

Uh HUH!

All right, then, lemme have it.

The first time was when we had that birthday party for Sven and got him a … what is it, Chubby the Whale?

Fudgie.

Right! Fudgie the Whale cake! That thing was made of ice cream!

It doesn’t count.

Uhhh it was ice cream, Mel.

It doesn’t count! It was Fudgie the Whale! How could that count?

Whoa there. Why doesn’t Fudgie count?

It’s a whale. Made of ice cream? No. Just, no. It doesn’t count at all. It’s an ice cream-like cake, fine. But it is not ice cream.

All right then, kook…

I am not a kook!

You are denying a cake is made of ice cream because of its shape!

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

The second time, easy though! We were out in the park, you me and Dan and ‘Tashi?

Lots of times.

That time I had a pistachio cone?

Doesn’t count!

How can that not count?! It was in a cone!

Naw, pistachio just doesn’t count.

What, why?

Uhm, because it… ACK! EEK! STOP!

Nope, you are getting tickled for this! You just don’t want to be wrong!

AAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAH okokokokok! I’ve seen you… I’ve seen you eat ice cream!

And Fudgie?

AHAHA AIEEEEEEEEEE! Perfectly fine… ice cream pro… product! STOPIT!

All right, I’ll stop. But only because we’re here and because a black man making a small white girl scream is probably still a taserable offense.

I wouldn’t let them taser you!

No?

Well not… I mean … would it be funny?

Not for me!

No I mean later, on youtube?

Yeah, probably.

Then I probably wouldn’t let them do it.

Thanks! For that, you’re buying the ice cream.

One final cone before the tasering! Deal!