I was thinking, we should go to a nude beach.

We should?

Well, I should.

Is this some sort of bad 80′s comedy ploy to see a bunch of women naked?

No, I just feel that, as a society, we have been too uptight about our own bodies and should get back to nature more often, revel in our flesh and not be ashamed of it.

So you want to see some free T and A?

That too, sure.

Don’t do it.

Why not?

Because it doesn’t work out the way you think. You’ll end up on a beach full of nothing but old frumpy straight guys trying desperately to not catch the sight of each other’s dicks, while they pray for some woman to come along.

How would you know?

How would he know what?

Hello, dearlings, we return with the drinks.

Drinks! The night is saved!

How would you know, Marky Mark?

That our night is saved because of drinks? Well the drinks make the night better, see, and…

No, about the nude beaches.

Because he has been. Is he going on about the sadness of the people there?

Yeah, hey wait, how do you know he’s been to a nude beach and I didn’t?

You don’t know everything, Jacob.

I used to.

Eh.

I am wounded.

Don’t be, I didn’t know this either!

You haven’t known him since he was five.

Regardless!

Yes,  truth’s there, Mark speaks with correctness.

So he went to a nude beach and told you about it, but not me.

He didn’t have to tell me about it.

I…

You were there with him?

Of course, dearling. Remember the Ontario trip?

No…

Yes!

Yeah, well, we got bored. It happens.

Dear lord. When I get bored I go for a walk. Maybe I go see a movie. I don’t get bored and hit up a nude beach.

You were just discussing doing exactly that.

Well, but, that’s different.

Why?

Yeah, I mean, why? I’m not bored, myself, but what difference would it make?

Oh, dearlings don’t you see, Jacob is jealous because he wishes to see me naked.

I’m just saying it’s not like Mark. At least not the Mark I know.

Wait, what? It isn’t like me to do things without you or to go to a nude beach, once, several years ago?

Either? No, I don’t know. So all right, fine, nude beach. Boring?

Oh, terribly so.

But you got to, I mean, all the guys weren’t horrible, right?

Oh it was shameful.

No I mean all the guys weren’t…

I see! Yes, I got to see our Mark naked, but so?

You know, just kinda curious.

About what?!

Stuff?

Subtle.

I don’t mean like that, I just meant…

Exactly that, is what you meant. And yes. I mean wasted on us, isn’t it? But perfectly nice.

Wasted on you?

Dearling! I am an innie, you like outies, or had you forgotten?

I am stealing that description!

Please do!

That is wonderful.

I love it!

Regardless, however, there is no shocking truth to discover. It is what it is, no offense Mark, but as a specimen it is fine and serviceable in all ways simply of no use to me, so who cares.

On the other hand, I did learn…

Mark!

No, now he has to tell us.

Oh yes! Please tell us.

Let me guess first. Those pictures were of a much younger Tashi, but in her punk phase, so I’m thinking either tattoos or piercings.

Mark…

I’ll never tell. Not on this few drinks. Let’s just say that she isn’t simply factory equipped.

She has enhancements?

I say nothing!

Good boy.

Enhancements? No way, those have to be real! Come on!

He does not mean my breasts! Yes they are natural!

So what’s enhanced? Laser toes?

Laser toes would rule!

I want laser toes!

We all do. Who wouldn’t?

But it isn’t laser toes, is it?

It is now.

Fair enough.

TO BE CONTINUED