So I was watching an old Godzilla film last night…

Why?

What do you mean why?

I mean, why were you watching an old Godzilla film?

Because they’re awesome? Anyway I had a thought. There are all these guys who have played Godzilla over the years, right?

I suppose so, I mean they had people in the suit, so yeah. Yeah I guess there were.

Right! Do you think they had to take classes?

That was your thought? That maybe there are Godzilla classes out there?

And I think it would be great to sign up for them. Hell, maybe it’s some kinda exercise thing, too. We could get it taught at the gym.

Next to a spin class, say?

Exactly! I mean which would be more interesting? Modern Hip Hop or GODZILLA CLASS? All right class! Stomp, two three four, atomic breath! Stomp and stomp and save that child, duck Mothra! It could be the best workout routine ever invented.

So why don’t you just make it up? Who cares if somewhere deep in Japan it exists?

Toho Co. is kinda notorious about lawsuits. You like Monster Sushi, right?

On 23rd? Yeah.

They used to be Godzilla Sushi. For years. No one cared. Then they filmed that horrible Godzilla movie right near there. Some Toho guy apparently saw it and…

Now they’re Monster Sushi. Huh. So if a Toho rep comes to your class you don’t want to be sued.

I do not.

So call it Monster Class! It worked for the sushi guys.

I could. But… it feels like weak sauce.

You know what’s weak sauce?

What’s that?

The two of us sitting around and discussing exercise programs we could invent.

Stomp, two three four, atomic breath! Stomp and stomp and save that child, duck Mothra! Raise your arms, try to catch Gammora!

Oh lord. All right, Paula, stop dancing.

Atomic breath, stomp stomp kick! Twist and look at the creepy twins, shake your head at Gammora. Duck a tank, stomp it flat! Turn, turn, stomp!

All right I’m going to have to stop you myself. With my new King Kong jazzercise!

Monster fight!

Catch a plane, grab Fay, climb, climb!

Atomic breath! Stomp, stomp, turn!

Roar, beat your chest, climb and climb!