I’m thinking you need to date more.

What? Where did that come from?

Truth’s there, dearling. You sit at home too much.

It’s hard to find a good man.

Oh yes, and here you expect me to, what, convince you to go find Mr. Right Now and settle and just go have fun for the fuck of it and to have wild and crazy time blocks?

Well, kinda. It’s what you told Mark when you accosted him last week about his same thing in the bar. Hey, wait! Why are you trying to get us all to date more?

Oh, Melina, sweet sweet Melina. Just you two.

Oh. But why?

Because it makes me with the sadness. Seeing you all alone, bounding down the street like a puppy. I just think you should try more. Don’t settle, oh no, dearling, never settle. But try more often. Try! Go forth! Grab every man you can and size him up!

I’m still unclear as to why this is so key for your happiness recently.

Mark used to date more. Oh the stories! We would sit and tell tales and drink and relax and it was a wonderful sharing.

So you want him to date more because… you don’t want to hog all the relationship stories when you hang out with him?

Basically.

But you and I have never talked like that.

But we should! And for that you will need to start dating more.

You can be incredibly selfish.

Can’t we all. Look at you, being selfish right now.

How am I being selfish?

Refusing to date more, for your good friend!

Really? That’s your reasoning?

It doesn’t work?

Not at all.

Still, it would do you goodnesses. You would be happier.

You once told me that if I were any happier I would explode and create a mess of brain matter against a wall.

Well, yes. Perhaps not too much happier then. But still and nonetheless, happier.

It’s good of you to look out for my happiness and safety like this Tashi.

I am a concerned friend. So you’ll do it?

Date more guys just to talk to you about them?

Yes!

Probably not, no.

I am dejected. Forlorn. Alone.

You’re nuts.

I worry about you, all right?

About what? Lord, it isn’t like I’m a spinster!

Neither of us is getting younger. Daniel dates.

Strange girls, but sure.

Sven dates!

So he says.

Jacob dates!

Often. So talk to them.

I do not wish to, about that, not often. But you and Mark, you do not date nearly enough to make things interesting.

Interesting for you, you mean.

Of course.

What if I said it didn’t bother me that you hog the dating conversations?

No, I know it would be just empty talk. You would mind. I do not want to that to you.

But you have no problem pressuring me to date?

Some things friends must do for each other.

You are a strange bird, Natasha.

A rare bird, a glorious bird that simply tries to help its nest mates.

You just broke that metaphor. Snap, poof, broken.

I did, didn’t I?

Mm-hmmm.

Apologies. But the point stands.

What if I agree and we see how it goes?

Will you also speak to Mark about it?

No! You talk to him.

No, he gets angry when I bring it up now. It would be better if you suggested it and didn’t mention me.

You are insane!

Simply desperate for good conversation.

About relationships.

About relationships.

Maybe. Maybe I’ll talk to him.

Thank you, dearling!

Kook.