Hey, Dan! I had a great idea last night.

Let’s hear it.

I was thinking that every few years some toy comes out for kids that utterly takes over the world. You know Tickle Me Elmo, all those? And I thought I should create something like that.

Isn’t this more of a Sven idea?

No, he, I mean sure, he does that sort of thing but he wouldn’t think of this. Not this.

He thought of merging those old walking popnoise makers and hamster balls into Hamster Strollers, remember? You have a lot to live up to, man.

Point! But no, this is great! this is better than great! It’s fantastic!

All right, lay it on me!

Hobogatchi!

Hobogatchi.

Remember Tamogatchi? The little egg toy things with the creatures, and you had to raise them?

Sort of. You had to feed these little 8-bit animals and pay attention to them endlessly? Because the Japanese are a scary and lonely people?

Yeah, exactly. So instead of like a dog or a cat or a … a parrot, these would…

Be hobos. Small digital hobos?

Exactly! Exactly! So you have a few buttons to keep them good. Like a button to spare some change! And then you have to decide do they get food to live or booze to get warm!

You are a sick man. Truly there is something wrong with you.

Jake has a list, but look, it could be a huge hit! Chose their living boxes, any drug addictions, all of it! You get to decide the fate of your hobo, which you can name, of course.

Because you don’t want this to be impersonal.

No, I want them to bond with their hobo.

Now some people would think you might mean this as a subtle social commentary. A way to force children to do something about the plight of the homeless. But you just want a cash grab don’t you?

You think I could spin that social consciousness angle in interviews, though? Up sales that way?

Jesus, Palpataine, I’m glad you’re on our side.

Oh come on, you mock, you can mock all you want, but you would buy one!

No, I really wouldn’t.

Sure you would. You would buy one and keep it a secret. You would hide it from us, going to the bathroom a bit more often so you could check on it and all of that.

Wow, ok, reality disconnect.

What?

I really doubt I would have a secret hobo from you guys. I would own up to my hobo.

Would you, Dan? Would you REALLY?

I have no hobo to be ashamed of! I… why do you even have me yelling about this?

Because deep down you want a hobogatchi and the shame spurs you on like a giant mythical flame.

No I think it may just be because you’re crazy.

Or that. We can go with that one.