So I designed a ship.

Air, ground or sea based?

Real or fantasy?

Pirate or ninja?

We don’t even know if it’s a boat, yet Mel, you can’t just leap to pirate or ninja.

Why not? I mean if it was robot then he would have said that part instantly, because the ship would have been a robot itself. But he just said ship, so it isn’t robot.

But if it’s a car it can’t be either.

Sure it can! What, pirates don’t need to drive to 7-11? Ha! Sure they do. I am also going to discount it being monkey, because monkeys don’t drive. So, the question remains: pirate or ninja?

Real. Sea based. Ninja.

Whaaaaaat?!

Woohoo!

Wait, a ninja boat? A NINJA BOAT?

Ninja. Boat. Yes.

A real one? For real ninja?

Ninja need to cross open water, too! They aren’t vampires! Not all of them, anyway. Vaaaampire ninja!

But he said real. So for real ninja?

Real seafaring ninja.

That is so hot.

They consider themselves ninja, and they needed a boat. A guy I knew suggested me for the design. I said yes.

How could you not?

Exactly.

So you built a functional ninja boat?

As per the contract.

And now it’s done.

The ship, as it were, has sailed.

Wait, who were they?

You know those pirate people? They dress up like the pirate? They run around the beach, or the faire or New Jersey? In the pirate garb?

Sure.

This group wanted to surprise them.

So they had an entire ship built! That’s incredible!

Rich ninja.

White guys in black jumpsuits?

All races. In black jumpsuits. If you are asking, Jacob, if they were true ninja, then of course not. No. A hundred times no. They are some rich guys who want to play dress-up. And so they are. With a boat.

So what does a ninja boat look like?

Well it’s black.

Of course.

Yes, of course. And it is shaped like a shuriken.

You shaped the whole boat like a throwing star?

I could not get the katana ship to sail properly. It also has smoke bombs. And a flag.

What’s on a ninja flag? Pirate have the skull thing…

Jolly Rogers.

And now I want candy, but yeah that. What do ninja have?

Nothing. Just a plain black flag. No symbol.

So how do you know they’re ninja?

Jake. Their ship looks like a fucking throwing star! It’s a clue.

Also they’re throwing smoke bombs on the water!

Sven. Fire in the sky?

Bursts of it.

Hahahaha you made the Deep Purple!

I did not call it such, of course.

Wicked!

Thank you. So yea, at the next big pirate gathering they intend to sail up from behind and scare the crap out of them.

And then what? Then they have a big, unsurprising ninja boat.

Yes. But just think! To have such a ship! To be able to sail anywhere in a giant star and scare your enemies!

They don’t have enemies. They have pretend enemies who play dress-up at them.

I bet it still feels incredible.

You know what would be awesome?

What?

If we stole a ninja ship.

We can’t steal a boat!

We could. But I would be suspect quickly. Still. To steal a ship from ninja, it would be mighty.

They aren’t real ninja!

So we don’t really steal it!

That makes no sense.

No, no it doesn’t.

Not really. So no, I just hope when the pirates get mad about this they hire me to start an arms race. I would be a good pirate/ninja arms dealer. I could help them escalate their imaginary war to superb heights.

Good to have goals, man.