Have you ever wondered if perhaps time travel is possible?

Sure, who hasn’t?

No, I do not mean “what if we could,” I mean “what if we can.”

I’m missing a distinction.

What if we can travel through time, or could?

Could? Wait, what are you trying to say here?

What if time travel was not only possible but, in fact, perfectly normal, right now?

Uhm, Sven? What did you build… ?

Ha!

Uhm, all right. Consider me listening.

What if we could go back in time, have you ever considered what we would do with that power?

Not really, I mean sure I’ve read books and seen, like, Doctor Who and all, but it isn’t something I deeply get into a lot.

Consider then, what if someone discovered how to travel in time? What could you do with that?

Anything, I guess. Are we assuming everyone else knows?

Not at first. No, let’s say no one else knows. Become rich?

Easy.

Famous?

Easy.

Rich and famous?

Chocolate and peanut butter! Dogs and cats living together!

Exactly.

All right, so what?

Well, but then what? You wouldn’t want to keep it a secret, right?

Keep what a secret?

Your time machine, Sven is going on about this. So far we have agreed you would make yourself rich and famous.

Oh, but then what, right, gotcha.

Yes, yes, and you wouldn’t keep it secret would you?

No, I guess not.

Not after you’re set.

But then wouldn’t people want to use it to get back at you?

What? Why? What did I do?

Jake’s innocent.

Yes, but people want to claim it all for themselves.

Fair, so right, then what?

Yes, then what?

Well maybe I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Too late.

You’ve done it now, Jacob.

Wait, why is this me, I thought it was you.

You butted in, you deal with the consequences, sir.

Fine, so then maybe I can … go back somehow, prevent it?

What if you were to go back in time and undo all of it? Unmake the time machine?

Why would I do that?

Well, no, I see what Sven means!

Enlighten me.

Sven, correct me if I’m wrong here, but you mean why not undo everything and unmake your own life, since you would still remember it and could keep the secret and try a different way, from the start.

Theoretically, at least, yes that is it exactly.

All right, but what’s to stop others from finding out how anyway, discovering it themselves, and then what? You’re second place and lost to them when you know you should be the winner!

You make it a joke.

A joke?

You convince everyone that the way you did it is impossible.

How do you convince the world of that? Who would listen to some crank saying you can’t build a time machine by X? I mean, no shit, right? We don’t have them, so…

No, you make it a joke, you make a movie. No one would ever believe that something in a fun movie would be possible, right? So you hide it in plain sight.

Wait a second. No!

Huh? What?

Svenn!

Hmm?

You mean to say that if you made a movie about time travel using an idea so wacky, so funny, that people could never take it seriously, then you could hide your time travel in plain sight and use it later and no one would notice?

Yes, why does that anger you Mark?

Oh my … wait, didn’t Sven, Mark? Didn’t Sven buy a Delorean a few years ago?

Yes, yes he did.

Sven! Are you saying …?

I am just asking rhetorical questions. You are inferring things that you want to see from those questions.

No, Sven, I am asking you point blank, do you have a time machine?

Oh come on, eighty-eight miles per hour in a Delorean is real? I don’t buy it.

Of course not, exactly.

Sven! Do you have a time machine?!

You better not have a time machine, Sven!

Wow, you two are way too easy to wind up.

I want a time machine.

I’ll settle for a spin in the D’lo.

D’lo?

Shut up, I’m cool.

You’re begging for a ride in a shiny car that was featured in a Michael J. Fox film. In no way is that ever going to be the definition of cool.

You? You don’t get a ride in the D’lo.

Neither do you, I had to sell it a few months ago. The garage space was pricey, I never drove it, just a waste of money.

Man! So, not a time machine?

Of course not.

And not called the “D’lo”?

… sometimes, maybe.

Sad, man. Sad.

Jealous much?

I’m going back over there and I’m going to pretend this conversation never happened.

‘Cause you’re not cool enough for this one! Butt-inner of in-butting!

So Mark, have you ever wondered what if we could travel faster than the speed of light?

No, man, just no. Shhhh. Just … let it all go. Let’s talk about simple things.

Such as?

Yeah, I got nothing. So. Speed of light?

Right!