Hey, Dan, I was wondering, can I borrow five bucks?

Yeah, sure, but…

But why, you wonder, does the fantabulous and spifftastic Melina, Queen of the Jungle, need to borrow money from her loyal sidekick, Daniel of the hill people?

Well I … I mean not in so … hahahahaha … not in so many words, but sure. Yes, that.

Well you see, loyal sidekick, I got into trouble while climbing down from my jungle abode today, on my way to fight crime!

Fell down the stairs of your building and lost your wallet in the process?

Yeah.

Again?

Yeah.

So five bucks will see you through the day?

My landlord found my wallet, I just can’t get home mid-day.

Hence meeting me during lunch.

Exactamundo!

Fair enough. But uhm, queen of the jungle?

When you have a bad day you need to just… spruce it up some. Otherwise what do you have?

A sore ass from falling down the stairs, no wallet, five borrowed bucks for a slice of pizza and a crappy taste in music?

Yeah… hey wait a second! My taste in music isn’t crappy!

It certainly isn’t … what’s the word?

Obscure enough for you?

That might be it, but no I was aiming more for …

Elitist?

Not quite, but what the hell, it’ll do, Queenie.

I don’t see what’s wrong with the music I listen to.

Of course you don’t, butt-bruise, because you listen to it. But take it from me, there is nothing to be proud of when you listen to that much J-pop.

It’s bouncy, and I like bouncy. As an added bonus, though?

Mmmhmm?

I don’t speak the language, so I have no clue what they’re actually saying, so I can totally just make up my own mind. Like there’s this song I love. And I decided it was about two whales that are madly in love with each other, and yet forever torn apart by a jealous dolphin with a big ego.

That song does sound kinda awesome.

I know, right?!

Except that it has nothing to do with the song itself, does it? You’re just making all of that up?

But it could be the song, or it is for me, and I like it.

I like twinkies but I don’t call them steak.

Why not?

Because they aren’t steak?

So?

Well, because, see, they aren’t steak?

No, I get that. But what harm does it do? You still enjoy the twinkie. You still get to say the word steak.

Is saying “steak” special somehow?

Not at all.

Then why… ?

I don’t know but, man, Daniel, you just … you make this too easy.

Probably.

Anyway. I should get back to work. Thanks for the five-spot, man.

You got it. Bar tonight?

Yeah, I’ll be late, though.

Grabbing your wallet.

And fighting jungle crime.

Rock on.